There’s something about a good romance film that’s incredibly appealing to us as human beings. Whether it’s warmth, safety, longing, hope, or love itself, the way they can make us feel is nothing short of wonderful. My own opinions on romance films have changed dramatically over the past few years: I’ve gone from hating them to tolerating them to utterly adoring them. It’s a change in taste that mirrors my own growth as a person: the more comfortable I become with myself as a man, the more I like romance films. It’s a slightly strange correlation that I don’t fully understand, but I am far from alone in my love of the romance movie as a twentysomething.
A few weeks ago I ran a survey asking people their general feelings on romance movies: what they liked, how they made them feel, what their favourites were, that sort of thing. Before we go any further, let’s break down that survey:
Lovely. Now for the interesting part: what they said. When asked for the main reason they watch romance movies, a common thread among people was the idea of escapism: watching a romance film to get away from their day-to-day lives. Hats off to the people who admitted that a good romance makes them feel “mushy” and “fuzzy” – but there were a few anomalies (I feel quite sorry for the person who dismissed the entire genre as “meaningless and cringey”). Several also admitted to only watching them with their partners or gal pals, while some said they enjoyed watching them to cheer themselves up.
Data like this isn’t groundbreaking – far from it. It’s a very small sample size and there is something of an echochamber effect: almost everyone who filled in the survey was someone from one of my social circles, and that’s evidenced in the demographics who responded. But just because it isn’t groundbreaking doesn’t mean it isn’t interesting. I find it fascinating that I, as a total romantic, happen to be in the minority here. Although there are a few others who share my romance movies, there are many who don’t – and that raises some questions.
I love romance films for what they can tell me about love and relationships
I love romance films for what they can tell me about love and relationships. My favourites (movies like Portrait of a Lady on Fire, La La Land, and the Before trilogy) leave me breathless, heart pounding, with tears streaming down my face. There’s something comforting there for me as a single person, I feel, but I have to wonder why this is. Why is it that we, as humans, find comfort in other people’s tales of romance?
Of course, not every feeling romance movies give us is a positive one, and I’m no stranger to these negatives myself. One survey respondent said that a good romance makes them feel “far more single,” while another admitted to feeling “a bit wistful at times, but not as existentially depressed as you might expect!” Some people did feel that sort of despair, with two people saying they felt “SAD” [original caps] and “lonely :(” [original emoji] – and honestly, I can relate. I’ve always been a sucker for love, so the fact that every serious relationship I’ve been in has ended badly is a puzzle I just can’t piece together. Maybe I just have bad taste in who I decide to date, maybe they’ve not been right for me, or maybe … maybe that’s a conversation for another time.
The thing is, despite my loneliness, I still find comfort in romance films. There’s a certain warmth in knowing that the kind of love I want and deserve does exist – I clearly just haven’t found it yet. And what’s more is that it doesn’t matter that I haven’t found it yet, because I will find it at some point in the future. And if romance movies have taught me anything, it’s that love appears to us when we least expect it. It’s that person we happen to meet on a train in Europe one random day, or at work on a remote island off the coast of France, or at a party neither of us belong at – and I can’t wait to find them.
If romance movies have taught me anything, it’s that love appears to us when we least expect it
For us single folk, Covid has put our love lives on hold, and that sucks – I don’t think anyone would argue with that. I read this brilliant article in The Guardian the other day that talks about that exact topic in a way that so many people seem reluctant to: like the author Zoe Williams concludes, “laws have been made as if [single people] don’t exist,” and she's absolutely right. It’s tough for us right now, and our problems aren’t being discussed by anyone – but things will change.
Soon enough we’ll be able to get back out there and go absolutely wild on the dating scene (I know I sure as hell will be). But while we can’t, let’s find solace in movies – because movies are there for us when no one else is, and right now some of us need that love more than ever. For those of us who want it, love is out there for us: we just need to wait for it to appear. Because at the end of the day, love always wins out – and it will for us, too.
As ever, thanks for reading! I realise this is far from the most personal piece I've written lately, but it is odd to put myself out there like this. I'm currently working on a totally different style of piece that's even more open, but that probably won't arrive for months yet, so don't hold your breath!
As for Feels For Reels, I won't make any promises about what's coming next, because I honestly don't know! Hopefully it'll be a little bit more upbeat than this one, anyway. Thanks again for reading - I'll see you again soon.
Images, top to bottom: Lionsgate, Curzon Artificial Eye.